Despite all the highs we are experiencing welcoming Brynleigh into the world, we can't help but think of our sweet baby that we lost this day one year ago. It was one of most heartbreaking days of my life. I had just announced to my parents that we were finally expecting a baby in December (after much struggling), my son even donned a "Big Brother" shirt for the occasion. It was going to be an exciting and happy weekend, as we were together for the wedding of my cousin. I was to also serve as the MOH. On this day one year ago, I ran errands with the bride and wedding party floating on air, knowing we had this exciting secret. I remember crying with relief when I got the BFP. But it all abruptly ended when I began bleeding in the bathroom at Panera. I was shaking and crying uncontrollably as I called my husband and mom from the bathroom stall. Our worst fears came true later that day and into the next. I had lost the baby. Even typing this horrible memory makes me sick to my stomach. If it wasn't for my duties as a MOH, I believe I would have stayed on the floor curled up in a ball and crying uncontrollably for days. God chooses his moves wisely. He knew there was something wrong with this baby, so he took him/her knowing that although I might not be able to handle it on a normal day, I could be strong in this particular situation. Today, as I look at my beautiful baby girl, I can't imagine any little girl more perfect for me. I mourn the loss of the child I never knew, but I am thankful God knew Brynleigh was "my" baby.
The angel picked just for me
2 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss. I had my m/c this week last year too, it is such an emotional thing. Thinking of you and hope you are loving life as a mommy of 2! :)
Hugs to you my dear
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